Jan 01 2009
Where has Faith and Hope gone?
I have realized today, of all days, that I have neither. No I’m not depressed and am still taking my medication (lol). I just realized with this new year I feel very bleak about the future. The future of this country, the future financial system and my personal future. I’ve been very blessed with my boyfriend (I say this with tongue in cheek, 39 years old and 12 years into this relationship) of 12 years, my beautiful daughter and handsome and intelligent son. My son has secured an apartment to move into on Friday and has declined my help, which is just as well because I have become a nag. The kind you hope to never turn into, yep I have. I actually called to remind him that if he goes out on New Year’s not to drink and drive and be careful of other drivers. I know it didn’t sound too unreasonable at the time and I tried to sound informative. I ended up making him feel like a child (he’s 20) and as I spoke to him I realized that I sounded like a nagging fisherman’s wife. He’s not stupid and knows the consequence for drinking and driving. I just don’t get what happened to me. He (my son) doesn’t even answer the phone when I call. I know he knows it’s me because he is glued to that phone. That’s probably better for all. I guess I need to have my priority resolution be to stop nagging.
Well the news year is here. This past year has pretty much sucked. pretty much. Except for the birth of my granddaughter it has been a sad year. I lost two babies this year. I thought I could just move past it and not keep dwelling on it but that hasn’t worked. This year I will focus on finding my Faith and Hope.
