Nov 19 2008
When to let go?
I truly wish kids came with a owner’s manual. Really. At what age can you say “look buddy get your act together and grow up, I’m not going to baby you anymore.” And then you just do it. hahaha I guess that’s my problem, I’ve told my 20 year old son that for years. But to do it…It’s not like I am supporting him, financially but emotionally jeeez that is more taxing. Yesterday he asks if he can borrow $20.00, sure, I know “borrow” means I will never see it again. But, ok $20.00 for gas to get to work, fine. He comes over with his new used car he bought. So I go out and check it out. No oil on the stick. I’m like”son, you are out of oil.” He says “I cannot afford oil right now.” Ok, what? Are you serious? I tell him, you realize that the engine will not run without oil. Yep he knows. No, I tell him, seriously it will not run, you will blow it up. So I get him some oil. I put it in the car. I check the oil again. Then I start the car and it says low coolant. Ok he says oh that light came on , on the way over. At this point I let out the biggest and loudest sigh that I have available. I put in coolant. And he’s off. And I am so thankful that he is leaving. Now, I do feel guilty for saying that but it is exasperating everytime he comes over. I love my son really I do. I know there are some out there that would say let him blow up the car, it’s a valuable lesson. But I worry about him walking the 5 miles to work. It wasn’t so bad in the summer although it isn’t safe for my son to walk anywhere because of gangs wanting to kill him (a whole other story). I go back into the house and once again pray for my child. I find that I do that alot. And I do wonder if God is up there thinking ‘here she is again praying for her son to grow up, act responsible, be safe, find an apartment, treat his pregnant girlfriend right and support his pending family, stop making stupid choices, not get killed, pay his bills, be healthy, talk nicely.’ My list to God goes on and on. It’s not that I didn’t teach my son these things HE JUST DOESN’T DO IT!
