mamanet16

So today I took my daughter’s crib down. I didn’t realize how emotional that job might be. She’s 2 1/2 and has been sleeping in a “big” girl bed for about 5 months. But once in a while she wanted to sleep in her crib. And maybe I didn’t want to lose my baby. Sure she’s still my baby but she seems so big now. I don’t remember it being such a big deal 18 years ago taking down her brother’s crib. He will be 20 this wednesday. Maybe that’s why I feel like I’m losing my babies. Or maybe it’s my miscarriage in May. I thought I would have another baby to fill the crib.  That’s probably it, the fact that I have to come to realize that I won’t have another baby to put in the crib. Well at least this year I won’t. Or maybe never. Hard to tell.

I just put the little one down for her nap and she looked for the crib, “my baby bed” she says.  The turns to me and says “will mommy rock a bye the baby?” Of course I will, seems I haven’t lost my little baby at all. Thank god for these little moments.

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